Getting Through
by Skater-For-Life
Summary: From Rogue's pov. First about what she's thinking while Logan's away and will go over some of the things she's thinking throughout parts of the second movie. Should eventually veer off onto its own course after I'm done going over the second movie. Should
1. Chapter 1

Well, this story just came out of nowhere. I wasn't even planning on writing an x-men story or anything like that, but this came out notheless. I thought I'd put it up anyway to see if anyone likes it, though I'll probably keep writing it anyway even if no one does. Any suggestions you have for me, if something seems wrong please let me know so I can correct it. I haven't seen the movies in forever and I'm going off of memory. This is from Rogue's pov.

CHAPTER 1 

Plain and straight I miss him. A lot. I'd survived the closest I'd ever been to death, because of him, and then he'd left. He'd said he was going to look for answers to his past. Things about himself he wanted to know. It's selfish of me, but I don't really care. I wanted him here, with me.

Things have gone okay since he left. Everyone here is nice and I get along with them. I take the classes I'm supposed too, do training with everyone else, and have private lessons to control my powers with Professor Xavier. He says he can't say for sure if I'll ever get my powers under control, but that he's going to try his best to help. Everyone here is all about trying and never giving up. Maybe I should start to think like them, maybe then the next time he wants to leave I won't give up trying to make him stay.

I'm sitting upstairs in my room on a small window seat by the window with the door pulled shut. Away from everyone else. I still use the name, Rogue. Rogue fits me. A lot of the time I am a rogue. Up here alone, away from everyone else. I don't mind them; I just don't want to be around them all the time. Besides I don't want to have them call me by my real name. No one since he has.

Bobby will probably come up to see me soon. If not, he'll send someone like Kitty up. He doesn't like it when I go off all alone for long periods of time. He likes to see me active and doing something with everyone else. He doesn't like to see me off brooding, alone in my own little world, because I think he knows he's not included in it. And someone else is.

He's good to me, though. Especially about the whole not being able to touch thing. You'd think he'd have left me for some other girl by now. For some girl he can actually kiss when he wants too. We can hold hands, but it's not the same when you can't feel the other person's skin against your own. Nothings the same when you can't touch anyone.

At times it hurts worse than other times. I wish I could cry, but the tears won't even come. I'm always stuck under these clothes, unable to touch anything besides things that are cold and dead. Lifeless things, not anything living. I crave to be able to touch, but no matter how much I want to, I know I can't. I know what will happen if I do. And it's not worth it. Even to be able to feel the warmness of someone else's skin.

The knock on the door behind me has my head turning slightly. I don't answer though. Waiting for them to speak. "Hey, Rogue, it's me Kitty. We're about to make some popcorn and watch a movie downstairs. You want to come?"

Did I want to go down there? Not really. I wanted to stay up here where I could be alone and think. But I knew they got worried when I did that, and despite what I wanted to do, I didn't want them to worry about me.

"Sure, Kitty. I'll be down soon. Go ahead and start the movie."

"Alright, see you down stairs." I could hear Kitty's movements as she went down the hall.

I say I told you to, to myself. I knew Bobby would ask her to come up soon. Sometimes I wonder why I'm with him. I like him enough, but it's more like a friendship feeling towards him. It's not love. I've never felt that. Not even for the boyfriend I'd had back when my powers emerged while I was kissing him and knocked him out. He'd been in a coma for three straight weeks.

I'd felt horror at what'd I'd done, but not because I'd been in love with him. In fact it had been more horror at what I was and what I was capable of doing. He'd meant something to me, but he hadn't meant much more than that. He was almost insignificant now. If it wasn't for the part of him that was now stuck in my head from when I'd touched him he would be almost nothing inside my head. A passing memory from a life that now seemed ages away.

There were a couple of people in my head now. My first boyfriend, the one I'd put in a coma, and Magneto was up there as well. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself just thinking about Magneto.

Magneto was the sick twisted guy who'd been responsible for my almost death. And he'd tried to make me responsible for the death of other innocent people. I didn't really care about the innocent people as they'd been gathering to discuss what they called the "Mutant Problem" when it happened. As an x-man that was wrong of me. We were supposed to care about all people, even if they hated us, we were still supposed to protect them. I couldn't say that I was a great x-man though. Not like Jean. She cared about anyone, even if someone told her they hated her straight to her face, she'd still care. But I didn't want to think about her. I tried to stay away from Jean. In and out of my mind.

Magneto and my old boyfriend weren't the only ones in there. There was one other though. Another that I almost enjoyed having there. Because even though he was gone it meant I could keep a part of him close to me. The only part I had besides a chain I was wearing around my neck right now with his dog tags on it.

If I got technical I would have to say that he'd been my first brush with death, not Magneto like I'd said before. But that had been an accident. He hadn't really meant for it to happen, and it had been partly my fault. From the second his claws hard parted my skin and moved through my body like it was made of butter, I'd known I was going to die.

And the only thing I'd wanted to do before I did was to reach out and touch someone for the last time. Who would have known that by doing that I was able to use his powers to heal myself. In the process I'd almost killed him. So it seemed like we were square. He almost killed me. I almost killed him. But we both lived. Though I guess you could say we weren't even. Because we'd both used his powers to heal ourselves. I hadn't done anything for him.

It's already been a while since Kitty came up. I better go before they send someone else up to get me. I get up slowly and my feet drag as I walk downstairs. The TV is on and the movie is already starting. I don't know what's on. I don't even bother to check. Instead I walk into the room and look for a seat. Everyone notices my entrance into the room.

"Hey, Rogue, glad you could join us. Here's a seat right over here." It's Jean's voice that reaches my ears and I struggle not to wince. She's the last person I want to sit next too. I hope she doesn't use her powers to read my mind. I wouldn't want her to know what's in there.

I force a smile onto my face while I brush a piece of my white hair out of my face. "Thanks, but no thanks, Jean. I'll just take a seat next to, Bobby."

I move over to sit next to him. That's another good reason for having him for a boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with declining to sit next to someone else so that you're able to be next to him. Or to at least make everyone think I want to be next to him.

He gladly welcomes me next to him and I try to concentrate on the movie. All the while though I can't help but wish that someone else was here beside me.

* * *

Well, hope you think you didn't completely waste your time by reading this. Let me know how you thought it was. If you didn't like it please let me know why you didn't. Thanks for reading though. 


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed this. I'm glad at least a few people like this. I would continue it anyway since it's something I like doing but it's nice to know other people like it. Here's Chapter 2. Has a little bit more of just Rogue and then Logan's return. We all know this is what she was really thinking when it happened. ) I cannot stand Bobby.

CHAPTER 2

I'm supposed to be listening to what Storm's teaching. Or Ororo I should say. That's her real name. Everyone else besides me uses they're real name when we're not in training. Training is mostly what we do. We've never gone on any real missions, because Magneto is locked up and his minions have disappeared. Professor Xavier has been trying to find out where they've gone, but there's no trace of them.

I think he's trying to figure out what Magneto's latest plan will be. He knows Magneto isn't going to just sit in jail forever. He'll find a way out. Knowing Magneto's mind or at least the part of it that's in my head I think the shape shifter that works for him will try to get him out eventually. She's always had an attachment to Magneto stronger than any other of his henchman. I could tell the Professor that, but I really don't feel like it.

That's another thing that has changed about me since he's gone. I really don't feel like helping anyone do anything beyond what I have to do. Of course, that may not be just because of him. Maybe I was never that way and just didn't realize it until now.

I pull my attention away from where it's straying to the window and try to concentrate on Ororo's words. She teaches science, since a lot of it's about the world outside which is where she thrives at. Her words filter in my ears and go out the other.

The loud ringing of the bell jolts me as I'm not expecting it. Everyone around me begins to get up from there seat and head for the door. I slowly get up and pick up my books, starting to follow them out.

"Rogue, could you wait up a second. I'd like to talk with you." Ororo's voice stops me in my tracks and I watch the other students filing out of the room before turning around.

She walks toward me, looking elegant like she always does. She looks like that even when we're training. Her movements are graceful, beautiful. She stops and the look on her face is concerned. I can hear her words before she speaks them.

"Rogue, I'm worried about you. And not just me, some of the other teachers are worried too. You haven't been paying attention in class like you used too. Is there anything on your mind you want to talk about?"

The inevitable question, is there anything I want to talk about? Sure, there's a lot of stuff I want to talk about. Like how alone I feel without him here. Like how I hate that he left me here with all these people when he'd said we'd do this together. Like how every time I even look at Jean I feel a hatred burning deep inside me, because I know that if she had wanted him to stay, he would have.

But I just smile like I usually do. That fake smile that no one can see through. The one that everyone seems to think it means I'm doing just fine. He would have known it was fake, because he understood. But everyone else, everyone else believes it.

"I'm fine, Ororo. Thanks for askin' though. I'll try to pay more attention."

Ororo's smile is wider now and she gives me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Just remember I'm always here, Rogue. All of us are."

I smile a little wider until my mouth starts to hurt and turn towards the classroom door. I want to get to my room before Bobby finds me and wants me to do something with him. I want to be alone right now. Ororo's words echo in my mind as I leave. _All of us are_. Yeah, every one _but _him.

* * *

I move deeper into the trees behind the mansion so that I'm out of sight from the house. The last thing I want is for someone to see me and decide to come after me. I'm not running away. I told him I wouldn't, so I'm not going too. I'm just taking a break. 

My room isn't enough closure off from everyone else. I can still hear people moving around and eventually someone's bound to come bother me. The forest is almost quiet except for the sounds of birds flying through the trees and the rustling of the leaves against the branches as the wind blows softly through the trees.

My hair picks up blowing around my face. The pieces of white clash with the pieces of auburn hair. It's another thing I've had to get used too. When Magneto put his powers into me and used me to run his machine the front parts of both sides of my hair turned white. I don't mind it too much. Lately it's become a part of me.

Looking down I slip off the long gloves that are on both my hands. The cold immediately ripples over my flesh, but I don't mind. I stuff the gloves in the pockets of my jacket and let my hands run over the rough bark of the trees around me. It's not flesh but it's as close as I can get.

Leaves crunch beneath my boots and I lean down to pick one up, running my fingers softly over its sides before crunching it in my hand, grinning at the sound. It's nice to be out here. Able to touch things without the fear of taking the life out of someone.

A lot of mutants can be dangerous with their powers. But others are even more so. I'm one of them. They don't say it, but I know that's why the Professor has everyone keep such a close eye on me. I'm like a weapon. If I ever fell into the wrong hands, mutant or non-mutant, I could be used for evil.

That's why when I go in people will exclaim over me about being gone and tell me I shouldn't do it anymore. Or that I should at least let people know where I'm going. But I don't really care. Because I got this time to be free of them. If only for a little bit I can be free.

I throw my head back and spin around in a circle, taking in the glimpse of the sky I can see through the treetops. The tail of my scarf blows behind me as I swirl. And just for a moment, I believe I really am free. But just for a moment.

* * *

Thumb war. It's a stupid game. But sometimes it's fun to be stupid. Maybe that's why I'm here playing it with Bobby. Our hands are together as we both try to pin each other's thumb's down. Like I said before it's stupid, but it's got both of us laughing quietly over here on the couch. Other people are in the room working on homework and we're trying not to bother them. 

It's the most fun I've had with him in a long time. We don't usually have fun at all. But I can tell I'm smiling and he is too. I look up at him and he looks up as well. Our eyes meet and suddenly I don't think he's thinking about the game any more. Our hands still and he starts to move closer. I want to pull back, but what reason would I have for that? He is my boyfriend after all. And then I remember I do have a reason.

"I don't wanna hurt you." I whisper quietly.

He's still coming closer, his eyes trying to be reassuring. Too bad he's not. "You won't." He says. Still not reassuring. At all.

But it's not like I have a choice. I don't have a good reason not too. I let him move closer waiting for the inevitable. The sound I hear in the back of my head is distant at first, but starts to get louder. It almost sounds like…Scott's motorcycle. But I know that can't be it. Because Logan took that with him when he left and if I'm hearing that now then that would mean…….

Bobby hears the sound as well and has leaned back away from me. I grin and get up, moving towards the entrance hall. Sure enough when I walk in he's standing near the front looking the same as he did the day he left.

"Logan." It's the only thing I can get out as I walk hurriedly toward him. He's smiling as I wrap my arms around his neck. I wish I could stand like this in his arms for a while but I know I have to let go eventually and I peel myself away from him.

"So, did you miss me, Kid?" His voice is just as I remember it. Everything's the same about him.

"Not really." I'm grinning as I say it to let him know I'm kidding. How I was not supposed to miss him I didn't know.

"So, how have you been doing here? Everything," He indicates his head as he speaks, "goin alright around here."

"Everything's fine. It's been good." My mouth says this while my head say's it has been terrible.

"Good." He's looking at something over me. "Who's this?"

I know who he's talking about before I turn and my heart plummets when I see Bobby coming towards us. How was I supposed to explain this? I guess the answer was obvious. That he was my boyfriend Bobby, but for some reason I didn't want to tell him that.

My mouth opened as my brain frantically went after an answer. "This is…"

I wasn't able to finish anyway as Bobby stuck his hand out and said, "I'm Bobby. I'm her boyfriend."

Well screw the whole not telling him thing. It really wasn't in my hands. They shake hands for a few seconds and then I can feel Logan's eyes on me. I'm not looking at him; really I'd rather look anywhere else. Even at Bobby. Kind of funny considering I was so happy to have Logan home a few seconds ago.

"So, um how do you all get past that whole not touching thing?" Logan's words have me looking back at him and he's looking down at me with his eyebrows raised.

"We're still working on that." Bobby's voice is like a slight buzzing in my head as I try to look away from Logan's burning eyes.

"Ah, look who finally decided to come home." Storm's voice grabs my attention and I finally look away. "Just in time," She says as she comes over to us, "because we need a babysitter."

"A babysitter?" Logan asks looking up at her questioningly.

"Yeah, Jean and I…"

We're all distracted by the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Some more than others. Storm breaks off her talking and his eyes immediately fasten onto the person. I glance over my shoulder to see Jean walking down the stairs looking like her usual self. Perfect.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you all to talk." Storm's talking again and starting to leave.

Bobby's hand grabs my wrist and he's tugging me away. I don't want to go, but at the same time I have a feeling that I won't want to stick around.

"Bye, Logan. I'll see you around." I call to him. He doesn't even glance in my direction. His eyes still fixed firmly on Jean.

We've already gone a little bit before I tug my hand out of Bobby's whose still dragging me along. He glances back at me.

"There's something I forgot to tell, Logan. Wait right here for me."

He doesn't look to happy about it, but there's nothing he can do so he nods and crosses his arms. I smile at him and head back into the direction we came from. As I get closer I slow and can just make out the words passing back and forth between Logan and Jean.

"I'll be seeing you when we get back. Unless you plan on running off again." Her voice is quiet, but I can still hear it from where I am. My body tenses at the teasing tone of her voice and a glare makes its way onto my face.

"I might be able to think of a few reasons to stick around."

My glare deepens until I'm almost sure it's about to start burning a hole into the wall I'm looking at. Turning I move away from the spot I'm at. My fists are twitching with the urge to pound them into something. Jean's head would be nice. Or Logan's as a matter of fact. Hell, it would be nice to have both of them to slam my fist into. Way better than training any day.

My body wants to go straight back to my room so that I can at least smash the pillows but I know Bobby's waiting for me. I may be a lousy girlfriend inside, but I'm not going to stand him up. My pillow bashing will have to wait till later. But I'm sure it'll happen eventually.


End file.
